Cell phones, mob violence are easily regulated

To the Editor:

Now that you have elected me chief justice of everything, I would like to issue the following regulations regarding cell phones.

Since the use of cell phones has been shown to contribute to mob violence, they will, like firearms, be regulated. A purchaser of a cell phone will be identified by the usual contact information along with an updated photo. This will create a searchable profile of the owner, which will include all information as to the owner’s brushes with the law, regardless of their outcomes.

Any purchaser of a cell phone under the age of 25 will have to disclose, as part of the profile, his or her parent or guardian or any other person who has financial responsibility for the purchaser.

The technology of at least any cell phone of an identified parent or guardian must include the ability to search the call records of any person identified as a dependent, which by definition will include the interactions with the law of any person called by the dependent.

Furthermore, I am promulgating the following regulations regarding mob violence.

• There shall be a national website titled “Riots”. A public record of any disturbance regarding three or more people shall be recorded, including photos of all individuals arrested during the riot, as well as the names and addresses of parents or guardians identified in cell phone records. The individual records of riot attendees arrested will include any information as to prior interactions with the law.

• Cell phone records of all owners under 25 must include information regarding current college student status along with the college name. Any college being related to 25 or more students arrested under the above will be identified under a subsection of the “Riots” website.

• A search warrant will be issued relative to anyone arrested in a riot, allowing officials to catalog any firearms in the individuals’ residence. Any unusual number of firearms identified in such a search will cause a public mailing of this information to all residences within a quarter mile of the residence, therefore letting the neighborhood know of the potential danger involved with such weapons.

Now that I have finished with these regulations, I am going to go play golf. That is a more difficult task than this was.

John Brittain

Lewistown

Electric vehicles are one step toward sustainability

To the Editor:

As communities across the country grapple with rising fuel costs, air pollution, and the growing impacts of Global Warming, one solution is becoming increasingly clear to me: the widespread adoption of electric vehicles.

In my opinion, electric cars offer a cleaner, more sustainable alternative to gasoline-powered vehicles. By producing zero tailpipe emissions, they reduce air pollution and improve public health, especially in urban areas where smog and poor air quality disproportionately affect vulnerable populations.

When you factor in that EVs cost roughly 40% less to fuel, and with fewer moving parts, require about half the maintenance of internal combustion engines, eliminating oil changes and frequent brake replacements entirely, the total cost of ownership is now a clear win for the consumer.

Advances in battery technology have extended driving ranges, while the rapid expansion of charging infrastructure is making electric vehicles more convenient than ever.

Many governments and utilities are also offering incentives that make the transition more affordable for everyday consumers.

Owning an electric car is not just a personal choice, in my opinion, it is a meaningful step toward a more sustainable future. By embracing this technology, I believe we can reduce our dependence on carbon dioxide-polluting fossil fuels, lower greenhouse gas emissions, and contribute to a healthier planet for future generations.

Sincerely,

Ron Sadler