Liz Sperlich, Juniata County School District counseling department head, attended a Highmark Caring Place training held at the Tuscarora Intermediate Unit in McVeytown. Barry Sloane and Brenda Schultz from The Caring Place presented materials on how to support grieving students and how to promote grief awareness in the schools. Statistically, one out of 11 students will lose a parent or sibling by age 18, and one in five will lose someone close to them by age 18. It is vital that teachers and school staff be prepared to support these students in their grief, especially as they return to school after a loss. Because of this training, Sperlich brought the idea back to Juniata County in the form of celebrating Children’s Grief Awareness Day, as well as inviting the presenters to come to the district next spring.

On Nov. 20, East Juniata High School and Tuscarora Junior High School celebrated Children’s Grief Awareness Day, created in 2008 by the Highmark Caring Place, which has locations throughout Pennsylvania and, most locally, in Camp Hill. Per their website, “Children’s Grief Awareness Day is observed every year on the third Thursday in November (the Thursday before the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving). This time of year is a particularly appropriate time to support grieving children because the holiday season is often an especially difficult time after a death. Children’s Grief Awareness Day seeks to bring attention to the fact that often support can make all the difference in the life of a grieving child. It provides an opportunity for all of us to raise awareness of the painful impact that the death of a loved one has in the life of a child, an opportunity to make sure that these children receive the support they need.”

EJ and TJ students and teachers decorated butterflies throughout the day: some to show support for grieving friends and others in memory of lost loved ones. These were then placed on a memory wall, organized at EJ by Sperlich and administrative assistant Meagan Apple and organized at TJ by school counselor Joelle Stahr.

Apple said that this experience was therapeutic for her: “After a personal loss in high school, I felt very alone. I wish there would have been something like Children’s Grief Awareness Day at that time. It would have been very healing.”

Submitted photo
Butterflies on the wall for Children’s Grief Awareness Day at East Juniata High School.

The Caring Place will be coming to the Juniata County School District in-service in February in order to present this information to all teachers from K-12. The presenters will then be training the district’s counselors on how to run grief groups with grieving students.

The most important thing to keep in mind for anyone who is supporting a grieving friend is that grief is not linear. The Caring Place presents grief in the metaphor of a spiral (think slinky!): grief is lifelong with no defined end because the loss was permanent. Grief will evolve and change in nature through time. Imagine a slinky on a table: if you were a tiny person standing inside it, you could not see through the spiral. That is how life feels after a loss. Gradually, the spiral will loosen, and you can see through your grief, much like a person holding the slinky by one end and letting it dangle. Then inevitably, a holiday or smell or song on the radio will set the spiral bouncing, and it gets harder to see through it, but eventually, it settles, and you can see through the grief to the other side once again.

Having caring people to support those who are grieving is vital to the healing process, especially for children and teens.

For more information about the Highmark Caring Place, which offers free grief support groups to area families, go to highmarkcaringplace.com.