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Elect a 'seaworthy' leader as 'captain'
To the Editor:
This ship has been sailing for almost 250 years. Captains have come and gone. Some were better than others and some really good ones just when we needed them, mostly in times of war. Our current Captain has suffered a major incident in front of the entire crew. His trouble going aloft or down to the bilge has not gone unnoticed. He cannot communicate even with the cabin boy. Now, even his supporters are whispering mutiny! Belay that you landlubbers the first mate doesn't know port from starboard and we're five months from port. We'll all see Davy Jones if she be on the wheel deck!
Did ya hear that mates? That orange-headed fungus has come alive in the powder room again. He be in a rage about his parlay with the Captain. We can't throw water to calm him, else we wet the powder. Every time he is keelhauled he comes back. He has the wind to fill the sails but can't keep them trim. He repeats himself like me parrot and does not say much except about himself! Worthless!
I have a plan! We put the Captain, first mate, and the orange antagonist in the same lifeboat for another parlay. Give them food and water, wish them well, and cast them adrift. Next, we select two men befitting for the job of Captain. Younger men who are able-bodied, who have their sea legs, know the ropes, and can sail through any storm. Then, elect the best man Captain! If we do not find such a seaworthy leader soon we will all follow the Titanic or be adrift.
Can it be that hard to do? Will it take a man overboard to unite us to do a good deed? Our country needs a good Captain! I pray it will not be another war to keep us united and seaworthy!
Michael C. Spahr