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“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” Psalm 42:5
I’ll tell you why. It's a depressing world out there. Pick up a paper or turn on the news and we encounter death, disaster, despair. Whether the stories are about hurricanes, floods, fires, earthquakes, wars or threats of war, or daily obituary notices or those private, personal stories that never come to public attention, life can be a burden. It's a tough world out there. In a word, depressing. Have you ever felt that sad?
I understand on the island of Fiji, they practice an unusual custom. When a loved one dies, a grieving family member will climb to the top of a palm tree and call out pathetically to the one who has died, "Come back! Come back! Of course, there is no answer, only silence. A deep, unending silence and crushing despair. That's how the sons of Korah must have felt when they composed Psalm 42, "My soul longs for God, it thirsts for God...Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; All your waves and breakers have swept over me. Why have you forsaken me?" Why?
If you've ever experienced the darkness of deep depression, you know how deeply it hurts. Shannon knew that darkness. Only a few people knew her secret. Shannon was a mother of three, the wife of a prominent real estate broker and church elder. Like her husband, Shannon was very involved in church as a deaconess and as part of the evangelism visitation team. Her church friends viewed her as a "super mom" who had it all together. Only a few of her closest friends knew Shannon's secret: Shannon struggled with deep bouts of depression. So deep she tried three times to take her own life using prescription drug overdoses.
One day, Shannon's husband, Lyle, came home early from the office, as he often did when Shannon was undergoing one of her "blue spells." Every time she had attempted suicide before, he'd gotten a feeling he should stop by the house and check on her.
Each time, he arrived just in time to get help for her. The previous suicide attempts were "cries for help," he believed: dangerous, potentially fatal, but more focused on alleviating her emotional pain than on destroying herself.
This time, however, when Lyle arrived home, there was no cry for help. The house was eerily quiet as he made his way from room to room, finally arriving at the bedroom, where he stopped, stunned and heartbroken.
This time Shannon had chosen a different means of suicide, and this time she had indeed set out to destroy herself. She had hung herself from one of the rafters of their vaulted bedroom ceiling.
How horrible. How sad. Why would someone who seemed to have it all together do something like this?
Hearing a story like Shannon's can bring back painful memories for some of us. That's why we need to talk about it, openly. Suicide, it's said, is a lonely way out with no way back, a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Unfortunately, it continues to be the number two cause of death among teenagers and the number 10 cause of death among adults. It is also a profoundly selfish act. Suicide inflicts more emotional pain and guilt on others than almost any other kind of loss.
Most people who take their own lives don't really think about the effect their death will have on a spouse, parents, siblings, or friends. And those effects are devastating and long-lasting.
Have you ever wondered where thoughts of suicide come from? Why would anyone want to end their life? We need to understand that no one really wants to die. I've found that people in emotional pain invariably do everything they can, everything they know how to do, to end their pain before choosing to end their lives.
People decide to die when they see no other alternative to ending their pain. It can come from any number of things; early childhood experiences, physical or mental illness, shame, loneliness, a lack of coping skills, heredity and even chemical imbalances in the brain. Add to these factors the stresses and painful events of daily life--school problems, family conflicts, a broken romance, a major loss, and the risk of suicide go up dramatically.
Most of those who try and take their own life seem to have a history of emotional problems. And depression seems to be at the top. In fact, depression has been found to be the number one cause of suicide.
It is one of the symptoms of depression.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing severe depression, it's extremely important that immediate professional help be obtained. The pain of depression can be intense, but that pain can be alleviated.
Depression is curable. That's why suicide is a tragedy beyond comprehension, because it's so unnecessary! However painful life may feel it can be made good again. Those who choose to take their own life almost invariably do so when they are not thinking clearly. If they were, they'd know their problems are temporary and solvable.
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Rev. Charles Eldredge is a member of Maitland Church of the Brethren. He has a Facebook page and can be contacted by email: ce1133 @verizon.net.