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Psalm 23:1-6
Something serious is happening to our homes- -something that bodes ill for our society in the future. For our homes are where the future is decided.
Life has never been easy or risk-free. Since the beginning of recorded history, life has been uncertain. The bubonic plague, sometimes called The Black Death of the Middle Ages, the Hundred Years War, the Irish potato famine, and countless other fearful threats have loomed over peoples down through the centuries, but there's something which provided hope and stability even under prolonged perils, something that's fading out of our homes. That something is a set of beliefs and values which give purpose to life, and which cause us to live in a civilized and productive fashion, no matter what circumstances surround us.
Those beliefs and values are fashioned in our homes and no matter how advanced we may become in terms of technology or transportation, computer, or satellite communications, if we're not able to find happiness in our home life, more will be lost than gained.
This is nothing new. Three thousand years ago a young shepherd named David was fortunate to have his beliefs and values fashioned in a godly home, which brought him happiness even in a time of turmoil in his country. David not only came to see God as a Good Shepherd, but his Good Shepherd, Someone who cared for his life in a personal way. He composed a beautiful song about that relationship in Psalm 23. Two thousand years ago Jesus also spoke of God as a Good Shepherd, however, he went beyond this figure of the Good Shepherd in such teachings as the parable of the Prodigal Son to reveal God as the Good Parent. Good shepherding and good parenting have much in common, both are essential to care for our families.
According to Psychologist Erik Erickson one of the best things we can do for our children is help them develop a sense of trust. The Bible points out that this is the primary focus of a relationship between a shepherd and his sheep. The shepherd knows his sheep by name, says Jesus. The sheep knows the shepherd's voice and comes when he calls. They follow where he leads them, for they know he will provide for their needs. In the imagery of the 23rd Psalm, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures . . ."
Phillip Keller in his book, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, tells us sheep are very fearful creatures. They simply will not lie down unless they sense the shepherd nearby. They need to know that he's present. Likewise, a young child needs that sense of security and trust as well.
Gerald Kennedy once talked about a young girl who lived in an apartment in a big city, and after supper in the summer the children on the block gathered in the streets to play. But after a while one child would say she had to go home because her mother had told her to be in before eight o'clock. Or a father would whistle, and a boy would have to leave. A mother would call, and others would have to go. The girl said, "They would all go. It would get dark, and I would be there alone, waiting for my father or my mother to call me in. They never did."
It's much easier to calm a fearful lamb than an insecure child. A lamb will be content if its physical needs are met. Notice those words, "He leadeth me beside still waters." Shepherds tell us sheep will not drink from gurgling waters. The shepherd must find a still pool or at least make a small one with his hands.
The still pool for us is a serene and happy home. Here, of course, is the tragedy of strife in our families. Here is where divorce is potentially so damaging. A single mom or dad must work twice as hard to provide that sense of trust–that deep sense of inner security–that every child needs and deserves. A sense of trust--is an important responsibility of both parenting and shepherding.
Helping our children develop a set of ideals and values is also an important responsibility. David writes in his Psalm, "He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake." If our children discover the paths of righteousness, more likely than not, it will be because of us.
The training of children is the most complex task entrusted to parents. It's the greatest challenge God will ever give to most of us. It requires maturity and a strong sense of healthy self-acceptance. And the truth of the matter is most of us do a pretty good job of it. Recent figures indicate teenagers as a whole feel closer to their parents than teenagers in earlier surveys. Most of us are doing well. Except in one area. That area is the teaching of Christian ideals and values.
It used to be sex was a taboo subject in most homes. Today it's religion. If our young people are confused about right and wrong, if they're not sure about what's real and what's fake, if they feel an emptiness inside where they should be experiencing God and his love, then it's probably because there are so many parents who are confused about their own values and ideals, and thus, have neglected this responsibility, "leading them in the paths of righteousness."
I know there are limits to what we can do for our children. I like the story of the mother who wrote a president of a small church college and asked him to make certain that her son would be given a roommate who did not smoke, swear, tell smutty stories, drink, carouse, and who went to church regularly, retired by ten every night, and had good study habits. "After all," said the mother, "This is the first time my son has been away from home except for the time he spent in the Marines."
The mother had a lot to learn. But so do those of us who throw up our hands and make no effort to guide our children toward that which is right and good. No one can be truly happy who does not have values. Values are essential to a healthy sense of self-worth. Our responsibility as parents is to be teachers of that which is good and right and lasting.
We need to help our young people know that no matter what, we will always be there. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou are with me . . ." I understand there is a Valley of the Shadow of Death in Palestine. It's a valley through which the sheep are moved once a year to reach their grazing pastures. It's a treacherous ravine four and a half miles long and over 1500 feet high in places and only 10 to 12 feet wide at the bottom. Wild dogs lurk in the valley seeking easy prey. The sheep would be lost in the valley if they couldn't be confident the shepherd was always nearby.
There are many valleys growing up. Many of them are as treacherous as the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Particularly, during the teenage and young adult years, the pathway can seem steep. Sometimes it can be easy to slip and fall into the unfriendly ravine below. Our young need to know that no matter how far they may slip and fall, we will always be there for them.
Jesus portrayed the Good Shepherd leaving the ninety-nine and going out on the hillside to find the one sheep. He said God is like that shepherd. Can those of us who have lost sheep in our flock do any less?
At every sheepfold there is a big earthen bowl of olive oil and a large stone jar of water. As the sheep come in for the night they are led to a gate. The shepherd lays his rod across the top of the gateway, just higher than the backs of his sheep. As each sheep passes in single file, he quickly examines it for briars in the ears, snags in the cheek, or weeping of the eyes from dust or scratches. When such conditions are found he drops the rod across the sheep's back and it steps out of line.
"Each sheep's wounds are carefully cleaned. Then the shepherd dips his hand into the olive oil and anoints the injury."
"Thou anointest my head with oil," writes David, "My cup runneth over."
Wouldn't it be great if we were close enough to our children to always detect the briars and the snags and the weeping. Sometimes we can't. But we can let our children know whenever they need us, we will be there. No matter how far they may stray, all they need to do is call and we will come.
Nurturing a sense of trust, teaching sound and wholesome values, always being there in life's most treacherous valleys . . .
"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life," writes David, "and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." It doesn't always happen. Some children will spend a lifetime torturing themselves and those who love them most. But that's the exception. Responsible parenting, like responsible shepherding, usually has its reward. Remember though, when we're going through the valley with our children, there's One who is shepherding us. You and I are never alone. No matter how far we may stray or how dark the valley. For he is our shepherd as well.
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Rev. Charles Eldredge is a member of Maitland Church of the Brethren. He has a Facebook page and can be contacted by email: ce1133 @verizon.net.