Some advice for those in the White House

To the editor:

I had a call from the White House the other day. Not from the president, who was out on the golf course (which was OK by me), but from one of his people. He said the president asked him to reach out to citizens to get their ideas on how to solve some of current problems, like the nation falling apart and so forth. So, I gave him a five-part plan.

1. Protests. People convicted of crimes in the protests should not be sent to jail. That simply provides room and board for them, as well as giving them a sense of martyrdom that will impress their friends. Instead, they should be given a flat $5000 fine, and a law should be passed requiring that their names, pictures and addresses be in the newspapers and on websites. This information should be of use to current or future employers. If possible, their parents’ names and addresses should be included.

2. The head of the FBI the other day told of the intense Chinese efforts that attempt to influence or disrupt American life. All Chinese citizens in this country should be thoroughly questioned as to their reason for being here, and suspicious types should be sent home. Also, regular reports of all Chinese funds received by schools, universities, media outlets and political groups and individuals should be made public.

3. The national debt. Start by repealing the tax-exempt status of colleges and universities. They are tax-exempt now because they provide education. But they don’t: true education provides all points of view on solutions to difficult problems, political and otherwise. But, since their faculties are almost totally left-wing, all they provide is indoctrination. And, they are not tax-exempt because they need the money: the elite universities are rolling in billions in endowments. The struggling smaller colleges are not doing well financially because they haven’t proven to the public that they are worth it.

4. COVID-19. At the federal level, simply keep a reserve of equipment that can be passed out to states. Management of the virus should be on as local a basis as possible. The pandemic is doing one thing you might call a public service: it is shining light on the abilities of the states’ governors, for the information of their citizens. A few of them seem to have performed very well; most of them seem to simply muddle through day by day, and some have proven total failures under the pressure of the crisis.

5. Black Lives Matter. Invite leaders of the movement to the White House for talks, under the following guidelines: (1) there will be no yelling or swearing; (2) anyone calling somebody a racist will be sent from the room, and (3) no white protesters will be invited: they can’t contribute to the solution and are in the protests mostly either for kicks or because it is the thing to do.

The caller thanked me for my time and said he’d get back to me. (After I finished writing this letter, I sat and wished it had been true.)

John Brittain



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