Gang at Louie’s digs into impeachment

To the editor:

My Democrat friend, Ken, was positively ecstatic in Louie’s the other day. “Finally, they’re going to get him; impeachment is under way. I told you guys that this would happen, and you all said I was full of it. Well, it’s here now; maybe he’ll be out of office by Christmas. Wouldn’t that be great for the country?”

Ken,” said Al, “even if the House voted to impeach, do you seriously think the Senate would pass it? I grant that maybe some Republicans may be irritated at him, but there will be a lot of Republican senators up for re-election. Do you think they would vote for impeachment?”

“Hey, every day he’s in office, they get more on him. You just wait,” answered Ken.

“Impeachment, shimpeachment,” said Greg, “I’m tired of hearing it. What are they doing? Trying to throw him out of office because he made a phone call to some guy in Ukraine? I’d rather impeach Louie: I think he’s been shorting me on my drinks.”

Louie laughed. “Go ahead and impeach me; I’ll step aside and let my son-in-law run this place.”

“OK,” said Greg, “forget about that idea.”

“This Biden guy is in Ukraine; Trump is calling the president about something there. What does everybody want in Ukraine? Where is it, anyway?”

“It’s over near Russia. They’re not too good on nuclear power: it’s where that Chernobyl blew up, remember?”

“Yeah, you go near that place and you light up like a Christmas tree.”

“It’s like a lot of countries that are trying to get foreign aid out of us. You pay off some guy like this Biden and all of a sudden you start getting serious money from America. Everybody plays the game: remember the Clinton Foundation that was supposed to be helping all these poor people somewhere and all that? The money was rolling in to Hillary. Guess what happened when she didn’t get elected: suddenly, no more mail in the mailbox.”

“You can always tell that someone’s a crook when he says, ‘I didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m not going to do it again’. What was that guy on the board of foreign companies for, anyway? Wasn’t he smart enough to get on boards here?”

“Trump didn’t need to go after Biden’s son: Biden is no threat to him next year, even if he does get the nomination. The guy’s a total empty suit; reporters ask him tough questions and he laughs and changes the subject.”

Frank changed the subject a bit. “You know, when you think about it, I’m surprised at how weak the Democrat field is. There are strong Democrats in both the House and the Senate — I mean moderate, electable types like Tim Kaine or Joe Manchin in the Senate, or people like Charlie Crist or Andy Kim in the House. If people like that aren’t running, it means they don’t think they could stand up against Trump in the debates. Who are the Dems left with? Total Socialists like Sanders and Warren? Foolish egomaniacs like Booker and Beto? The mayor of South Bend, Indiana? C’mon, give me a break.

“I think it’s good for the country if there’s a choice between two reasonable people who are willing to debate today’s issues. Trump would benefit from it, whether he realizes it or not, because a good opponent would cause him to tone down his rhetoric and speak more sensibly, which he is very good at, actually, when he has to.

“Take Mike Bloomberg, for instance. I don’t’ agree with him on a lot of his policy positions, but he’s a realist who understands what’s important today and what kinds of things that can get done, not Green New Deal and Medicare for All and all those crazy ideas, so I hope he runs.

“But Trump is going to be tough to beat: take the Middle East, for example. It takes a lot of courage to back away from this Turkey thing, but it could be the start of other things that might happen. Take Afghanistan, for example: how did we get there in the first place? That was supposed to be where all those terrorists were being trained and such. Really? How about all those redacted pages from the 911 report, the ones that, as any high school student could understand, implicated the Saudis? Why were those pages redacted and the response shifted to Afghanistan? Saudi oil, of course. Was the Iraq war part of making the world safe with democracy? No, it was to safeguard Iraqi oil supplies. Perhaps those were realistic national needs and actions at the time, even though they were sold by covering them up with some nonsense; but, if we have energy independence now, as we’re told, perhaps we can start leaving the Middle East to the people who live there.”

“I guess betraying the Kurds doesn’t bother you?” said Ken.

“That might bother me if I thought the Kurds had volunteered to help us if the fight against ISIS were primarily our fight, but the fight was over their homelands. I really don’t know how the fighting was shared, but let me put an analogy. Let’s say that Mexican terrorists are threatening Texas territory and war breaks out. The Canadians, to help us, send some troops to join in the fight. If the Canadians, in their own national interests, later decided to back out of the fight, would they have betrayed us? Maybe you would blame them, but I’m not sure I would. Somebody told me, by the way, that nobody in the Middle East likes the Kurds very much, for whatever that’s worth.”

There was a pause in the room as people started to try and figure out where they stood on some of these issues. Then Greg said, “I still think we should impeach Louie.”

John Brittain



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