To the editor:
Terrific idea about putting windmills on Jacks Mountain. Sounds wonderful, then we can get rid of all the migrating birds. They are all such a mess. Stinking barn swallows, oh but wait, the tree swallows and bank swallows are not messy that way. Oh well, what are a few dozen less swallows as long as we get windmill electricity? We can also get rid of migratory robins, they are messy critters as well. Maybe that will allow more English sparrows to survive and prosper. They are such great birds. Oh, yes they can make so much mess, but at least we can eliminate those pesky migrants and they are smaller than robins. Kind of like the people who move south during the winter. Here today, south tomorrow, sorry I do wander at times.
Yes, windmills on Jacks Mountain, lets get rid of the orioles, they are so messy. They build nests high in trees, well at least the Baltimore orioles do. The orchard orioles build their nests in wooded areas, especially near fruit orchards. Who wants them around anyway? Let the windmills kill all of them and we will be birdless. Lets kill all the turkey buzzards who move south in the fall and north in the summer, we have enough of those disgusting critters around with the black headed vultures. Of what value are those filthy birds so kill them with windmills. I could go on and on naming other migratory birds that those wonderful windmills could eliminate. Yeah, go windmills, go. Kill them all, windmill enthusiasts say. Who needs birds? Down with the indigo buntings, scarlet tangers and those rascally acting cedar waxwings. Murder them all, eliminate those worthless migrants, down with them.
Oh the wonders of the windmills and their powerful destruction of our feathered "pests." Who needs birds? Especially those stupid, messy migrants who come to brighten up the landscape. Oops, that just slipped out. Forget it. After all what is the most important, windmill electricity with it's dubious claim of "clean energy" or birds with all their mess and beauty? (Oops, again I digress).
Maybe it is us old folks who should be eliminated. We are worthless, we no longer produce, we no longer work. We just take up fragile space. Or maybe we should get rid of all children from here on out. That would make the world cleaner - just think no more dirty diapers. Then we could eliminate schools. No more school buses exhausting dirty fumes. Maybe those who are really desirous of clean air should push for clean air by eliminating all sorts of fuel run vehicles. Oh, I do not mean that we all go back to horse and buggy days. One of the big advantages of cars (at least we are told) is the reduction of waste left on the roadways via all-horse transportation. Oh well, I am getting off track again. We could walk everywhere - just think of the fumes and waste we could eliminate, plus it might make us more healthy. Unless we eat a can of baked beans just before we go for a walk.
John E. Brockett