How can we handle difficult relationships?
THOUGHTS ON WORD
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
I recently had several conversations with people about divorce and what the Bible has to say about the subject; how does it affect the righteous person who is striving to glorify God everyday? There seems to be a variety of thought and practice in the various churches and different faith within the counties around us. The purpose of my article is to look at one aspect of the topic. Is there a legitimate, scriptural reason for a person to divorce their mate, remarry, and still be able to experience the peace of God in his (her) life?
As I considered this subject, my thoughts immediately went back about 45 years to a country church in Perry County. A group of men were having fellowship together when the conversation turned to the subject of adultery, and what a man was going to do about his wife who was unfaithful. The entire time I had known the man, I never seen anything but a Godly, righteous life. How do Godly people handle a situation like this?
I remember a woman who was beaten and abused by her husband. After she would heal up and get back on her feet, she felt she had to go back and submit to her husband. A pastor finally advised her to leave the relationship if she wanted to stay alive. Physical injury is only part of the mistreatment; many times there is mental abuse as well.
A friend once told me about her mother hiding her clothing or changing the drawer she put them in just to confuse her or make things difficult for her. This happens in marriages as well, when things should be easy to accomplish, some mates will purposely make things difficult. It gives some people a feeling of power and authority if they can manipulate and control a situation. This leads us into another aspect of abuse; people can have personality problems that need to be brought under control. To do this, people must first realize (accept the fact) they have a problem, and then have a desire to change.
If you Google narcissism (once spelled narcism), you can learn a lot about various problems in marriages that are brought on by this mental attitude. This can also be connected to a double personality, where they will be disrespectful toward their mate and treat them like dirt. They seem to get gratification when they can abuse and take advantage of their mates; while also giving the appearance that they are kind, loving, wonderful people to those outside the relationship or in public.
Not long ago I read of a woman who realized her husband was a narcissist. After a lengthy period of trying to work through the situation; she realized it was to no avail. One morning, after her husband left for work, she got the children up, dressed, and drove off in the car. They disappeared into the western part of the United States where she raised them. She did this for her own well-being and also the welfare of the children.
These examples and many more, are why we need to look at the subject of divorce. There are people out there who have tried to make their marriage work but now realize that their mate was a nut or turned into one after they got married. If they are living according to God’s word, can they divorce, remarry, and have a normal life with God’s blessing?
Anyone who has been in a situation like the ones I have mentioned will tell you there is no easy way out. But I don’t think Jesus ever said that following Him would be easy. If we can lesson the burden a child of God is carrying by our brief study, then our time will be glorifying to God and profitable for the body of Christ as well.
Comments or questions, contact me at: email@example.com.
Lyndon Stimeling, of Richfield, has been writing about faith and family for many years. He has self-published two books, “Common Thoughts on The Word” in 2016 and “Eye of a Needle” in 2017. He has also had articles published in The Coming Home Journal and local newspapers and has written a children’s book.