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Christmas through the eyes of a child

Let’s face it, adulthood is hard.

At 22 years old, I’m a recent college graduate who has never fully understood just how frustrating being an adult can be until 2018 rolled around. It’s expensive, it’s demanding and at times, it’s downright complicated.

After graduation, I suddenly had thousands of dollars in student loans to pay back, I had to start thinking seriously about my long-term career goals, and I could no longer depend on my mom to schedule something as simple as a dentist appointment for me. December will mark one full year that I’ve been out of college, and now that I’ve finished my free trial of adulthood, I think I’d like to cancel my subscription.

Especially during the holiday season, I wish I could just forget about being an adult and go back to the simpler times of childhood — back to the days when I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to afford to pay for Christmas presents and loan payments at the same time. Back when Christmas truly felt like the most magical time of the year.

As a kid, I remember attending my church’s Christmas Eve service every year and hearing the joyful sound of Christmas carols being sung by my congregation, or watching the sanctuary grow dim to allow the lights on the tree glow even brighter. I looked forward to Christmas Eve every year, just to experience that sense of peace and community with the people that I love.

I remember those little details fondly, but I remember one Christmas Eve service in particular. I was maybe 9 or 10 years old, and I remember my pastor standing before us in the pulpit, encouraging us to see Christmas through the eyes of a child again. He said adults tend to lose their spirit and ability to believe in the things unseen as they get older, focusing more on their troubles, doubts and worries instead. Children, he reminded us, so easily believe in Christ, believe in goodness, believe in miracles because their lack of inhibitions permits them to do so. So in the spirit of the holiday season, he said we should try to see Christmas through the eyes of a child by choosing to put aside our worries and believe in something greater than ourselves.

Of course, as a child myself at the time, I didn’t fully understand my pastor’s words. I’m surprised they’ve stayed with me after all this time, but I’m beginning to appreciate that sermon a little more every year.

It’s easy to get lost in the stress and anxiety that often comes with growing up, especially when you’re an entry-level adult and just trying to get your footing in the real world. Around the holidays, it’s even easier to become nostalgic, with a wish to turn back time to childhood. But this year, instead of wishing to relive the past, maybe I’ll remember my pastor’s sermon and try making the past meet the present — in spite of anything that may trouble my mind, I’ll try to see the world through the eyes of my 10-year-old self.

I never want to stop believing in miracles or that good exists in every situation. So maybe if I keep those childhood memories close to my heart and set my sights on the greater good, the Christmas lights may shine a little brighter, my spirit will feel a bit lighter, and adulthood won’t seem so complicated after all. Because like the saying goes, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year — especially through the eyes of a child.

¯¯¯

Sentinel reporter Alyssa Burd can be reached at aburd@lewistownsentinel.com.

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