BACK IN THE DAY
Author’s note: My name is Abby Hummel. I am a student at Mifflin County High School. I chose to write about my sister’s story because she was a witness of our parents’ divorce in the year of 2002. Alyssa was in the middle of the divorce since day one. She was punished and treated badly by her father because he took the divorce out on her. Alyssa watched all the tears fall from her mom and dad. She got pushed around from house to house. She watched her mom fall in love with some new man who is now her stepdad. The divorce for Alyssa was a huge eye opener for her future.
My name is Alyssa. I was only 7 years old when I found out about my parents getting a divorce, so here’s my story. I thought that my family was perfect because I had a great mom, and I thought that I had a great dad. For seven years of my life, I would see both the good and bad sides of my dad. My dad was a truck driver, and he would always get to travel outside of the state of Pennsylvania. His boss allowed him to take a passenger, and he would always take me to give my mom a break. The good side of that was that we would get bonding time together. The bad side of him was that he never wanted to do anything as a family when he was home. In any situation, my mom always saw the bad side of him. I could tell that my mom was getting upset with him and the way he acted. With me only being 7 years old, I knew what was coming. Divorce.
A few days down the road, the divorce was final. My mom was very depressed, and we couldn’t make it on our own, so my mom decided to try to meet someone new. Oh, I forgot to mention, my mom was six months pregnant to my dad. My mom got herself all dolled up, wearing a cute pair of leggings and a very cute purple top that made her eyes pop. Her friends convinced her to go to the bar for a girl’s night out, but of course she was not going to drink. I am not sure of what all happened in the bar that night, but I do know that a man that had one too many drinks asked her for a ride home. We lived with my gram at the time in her double wide trailer. I overheard my mom and gram talking the next day, and my mom said that the man asked her out on a date. My mom told the man that she was divorced and pregnant and had a rough life, so he should not get involved. But, the man insisted because he wanted to make her happy. A few months later, we had found an apartment with this man I now call my stepdad.
Ever since the divorce took place, I only got to see my dad every other weekend. My dad also found a new woman. She was not the friendliest person living on the Earth. On the weekends that I would have to go over to my dad’s place, he was always rude to me. He would send me to my room until dinner was finished, and his new woman was mean to me as well. It seemed as if he was taking the divorce out on me and acting like it was all my fault. My dad tried to get me to call his woman my mom, but I never would because she was not a mother to me. On weekends my dad and his woman would want days to themselves, so they would send me to his parents’ house. I would usually go to my grandparents’ house every weekend because it seemed that they always wanted time to themselves so they did not have to deal with me. I did not like going there because all they did was watch television. My grandparents never appreciated me. They would always want to see me on holidays and on my birthday, but only so they were able to say they were there for me and were able to celebrate it with me.
After every weekend that I was with my dad, I would go home with my mom and cry. She walked into my room where she saw me laying on my bed crying. She then questioned me about my weekend. She asked me if he harmed me in any type of way; she asked me if he fed me breakfast and if he talked to me at all. I held all this anger and torture in for too long, so I knew I had to tell her how I was feeling. I told her about the way my dad and his woman would treat me and the way my grandparents treat me, and she said that she was going to take care of it as quick as possible. My mom took a step forward and did not hesitate. My mom and stepdad got married, and they got full custody of me and my sister who was born right before the wedding. I finally stopped going to his house every other weekend, and I also stopped going to my grandparents’ house every weekend. I no longer had any communication with my dad or the woman he was dating. I also had no communication with my grandparents because they only wanted to see me for show. My dad never tried to fight for his daughters, so my mom and stepdad won the battle rather quickly.
Today, I am 21 years old, a certified nursing assistant, and I am married to the greatest man ever, named Jeremy. My mom and stepdad are still going strong with each other after 14 years of being together. With experiencing my parents’ divorce, I will always know to never fight in front of my children no matter what the arguing is about. I would never let my children go through what I had to go through. Looking back on the divorce today, I do not feel bad about it. I am so glad my mom has found a better man to help take care of my sister and me. He did not have to step up and take the lead of the father role, but he did because he knew we needed a dad figure in our life. If that divorce would not have taken place when it did, I would not be where I am today.